Finally.. FUN IN THE SUN!!

The day I have been anticipating since the snow melted... MY FIRST OFFICIAL DAY AT THE BEACH!! That is right the weather channel is saying Sat 84 & Sunday 87... Goodbye Westbrookville, Hello Robert Moses! I am packing up the truck with bathing suits, towels, blankets, the umbrella, sun block & oil, my cooler & I am out.. Of course I will have the kids in there too! I will post pics & all once I am back with my first sunburn of the season! Have to get burned once to get tan!!

Sour grapes as my mom would say

I got myself up & ready early this morning to go file the civil suit, fill out a formal complaint at the code enforcer office in the town of mamakating & was advised by the clerk to even file a small claims suit for wage losses for when Pat had to take off......

The code enforcer will be here again on Weds to inspect everything & begin the process of having her repair it or be fined... This will also leave me with documentation to bring to court, I ordered all the pictures I have of everything so I should be receiving them in the mail in the next 2 days, I have all my paperwork in order, read & re-read the NYS tenants rights law book that my mother was nice enough to bring home from work for me & now I am pumped. I know we are right. I am tired of being bullied just because we don't own the house.

So for her greedy ass wanting $1000 it is going to cost her anywhere upwards of thousands upon thousands for not being a decent person. It is going to waste her time as well as mine but hey I have nothing but time when it comes to standing up for what I believe in... So SOUR GRAPES to you Ida the Grinch as she is now referred to in our house. You messed with the wrong couple, once one gets the other fired up there is no stopping us..... I am tired of being polite, I am tired of being a door mat.

Bring it, Ignorant I am NOT...

Apparently my landlord thinks I am stupid. She wanted the rent we refused to pay until the septic hole in the front of the house is repaired. We initially refused to pay her because of the poop in the tub as I am sure you all remember.

So I agreed to pay her just to end the stress of it all. I went to her house & she was not there when I went to pay, so I of course was not about to leave $2000.00 in cash with no receipt. A fool I am not. So I wrote a check, put it in an envelope which I happened to have cause I did all the bills that day & left her a note.

Yesterday afternoon, she came here & stated " I do not take checks, I am not leaving here until you give me the cash!" *Now no where in my lease does it state that I have to pay cash, I am sure she wants cash so that she does not have to claim 12 grand a year income on taxes* But I refused, she wanted me to drive her to the bank to withdraw the money. I refused. You wasted my time by not being home & I am not wasting anymore by going to the bank again. You have a check, cash it, if she would have deposited it yesterday rather than come to my house she more than likely would have had the money today. But since she was so rude & came to my house once again unannounced & just let herself in, I refused, then I called the bank and cancelled the check.

I then sat down & listed every phone call to her with every issue that was either not resolved or was resolved too late. I was at least smart enough since we moved in to mark every single thing that related to her & this house in my calendar. I called the Town of Mamakating Code enforcer, the department of health, & oh yes the state troopers.

So she wanted to be a bitch rather than just take check & cash it, now it is going to cost her - BIG TIME. We of course are going to have to move, but I don't want to deal with this crazy old bat anymore anyways. So today I had the state trooper at my house & filed a complaint that she enters the premises with out notice. She was even dumb enough to tell me yesterday that she was at the house earlier when I wasn't home & went through the sheds & the plant room looking for a bookcase she told us we could remove. So she was in our property when we weren't home. THE STATE TROOPER LOVED THAT. He is paying her a visit today to advise her of my rights as a tenant & her lack of rights as the landlord. Landlord does not = GOD. Also to advise her if she does it again, I will be pressing charges and I am allowed to do so cause what she is doing is called HARASSMENT!

* NYS law requires the landlord to give you 24 hour notice before coming to the premises unless there is an emergency i.e - Fire, flood etc. * Never mind just come here & let yourself in and this isn't the first time. She has done this on several occasions which I of course documented & reported to the trooper today. He informed me to sue her in civil court.

*NYS law also states that a tenant has the right to with hold the rent as long as an issue that is ongoing is not resolved*. An open septic in my front lawn leaking sewage & probably contaminating drinking water is what I would call on going.

* NYS law also states that a tenant has the right to take monies off the rent while a problem incurred according to what they think the house is valued at with out that amenity* Non working toilet, sink, shower & being told to piss & crap in a bucket or diaper for over a month... I think we were fair with offering her 500 out of the 1000. As well as being without any working water for almost 4 days because the pipes froze & she did NOTHING, so Pat had to take the day off & fix it, costing us a whole days pay... MORE THAN FAIR.

*NYS law also states that it is the responsibility of the landlord to the keep the property rodent & insect free* We had a problem with spiders when we moved in which WE took care of by having grounds & house sprayed & will have sprayed again now that it is spring & we have / had a problem with mice in the kitchen, which I set traps & poison & was forced to move all the food in the top cabinets & have to vacuum & scrub all the lower ones almost daily because of catching mice in the traps & the feces. When I mentioned this to her she told me maybe I was dirty. ME? DIRTY? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ... Not in your life lady, you can ask anyone, even my therapist.. He thinks I have OCD because of the cleaning.

So now, I have everything documented. I have pictures of everything, EVERYTHING! I am going to court tomorrow to file a suit, she will definitely be getting fined once the code inspector comes & now she is out of tenants who actually cared for the property & paid their rent every month.

Apparently she doesn't realize that I am NOT a moron. I have a brain and I am smarter than she will ever be!! People really need to stop challenging me.. I do my research before I open my mouth.

I knew it...

So tonight my suspicions about Danny were confirmed by his fiance. She was adult enough & responsible enough to call me & let me know that Daniel had in fact signed himself in to a rehab center on Monday. He felt he needed it. Now the fact that he did it himself is very promising. Normally it was us forcing him to go after weeks & sometimes months of him being out on a mission, or it was because he was arrested & it was either rehab or jail.

So the fact that he messed up once & acknowledged that he needed help & called around to find himself a bed is very reassuring to me. It means maybe he is finally wanting to be done.

But I am of course PISSED that everyone lied to me & I am going to get Alyssa tomorrow & let it be known that I am not happy. It is MY life, MY child, & I make the decisions where she is concerned. I called this almost 2 weeks ago & for almost 2 weeks I have been being lied to.

I am praying for Daniel to be well, to find what he needs to make his life full where he can live without the drugs. I am praying that he will find the strength to be the father I always knew him to be forever.

He was my rock, I was his ocean

If I am your rock, then you are my ocean.
With your tides forever changing. I love nothing more than to be that rock on the beach that is forever in awe of your beauty. That rock who is mesmerized by every wave that rolls in and crashes down. Your chaos brings me peace, your unpredictability makes me love you more, not everyday, not every hour, but every second, I love you more. How lucky a man am I, that I get to be the rock that sits upon the shore everyday to watch MY ocean. To feel the waves cover me each time letting me know I too am loved.

These words on the page made me cry. He had written me many love letters. But here he had turned something I used once to describe him, then taken something he loved & made the most beautiful analogy of our relationship. He was my rock because he was the only person in my life who was strong, stable, the only person I knew I could rely on who would never waiver and always had my best interests at heart. He was the only person I had ever encountered that made me want more out of life, made me want to become better than who I already was. I was his ocean because I was so unstable, I brought that to his life. Before me his life was boring, repetitive, predictable. I was up & down like the tide, I was forever changing day to day, I was this big unpredictable in his life that he had never had. I knew the ocean was a place of serenity for him, a place where he felt at peace with life & the world. He was letting me know that I was his place for solace now, that I regardless of all my instability was still the one thing he loved more than anything - the ocean, his ocean.

I thought this was beautiful.

Mom Truths

I was watching an episode of Oprah today. It was a bunch of mom's & they were all speaking the unspoken truths of exactly how moms feel but never say aloud afraid of being judged.

Some had funny tidbits, some were real emotions but all were relateable. As I was watching this I was thinking about some of the things I do just to get a moment to myself. Lately I have taken up eating in the bathroom. How do I explain this as not to sound nuts.. When Taylor cries I feel compelled, as I should, to immediately pick her up & calm her. This sometimes prevents me from eating a meal all day or eating it in one sitting uninterrupted.... So I realized that if I am in the bathroom going to the bathroom that it is allowed for her to cry guilt free for a moment because I have to pee.... The bathroom is like a "safe zone" from guilt. So I have taken up eating on the bench in the entrance way of the bathroom. This brings me in the safe zone from guilt & when Pat is home it is an allowed absence that draws up no questions. He of course does not know I do this. I too find this odd & frankly in perspective not very sanitary. But I know my bathroom is clean & that is how desperate I am to have 5 whole minutes to sit, interrupted which allows me to inhale a meal.

They also mentioned on the show a popular mom blog which I have started to read. It is very funny... http://www.dooce.com/ as well as a series of books written by moms about moms, real moms, not these picture perfect TV moms that we all try to portray. The first book is "I was a really good mom before I had kids" ! So I of course ordered a copy on Amazon. I am going to do it one book at a time because I am also attempting to read "Excuse me, your life is waiting" which was a recommendation from Megan. I have successfully managed to get through 21 pages in 2 weeks. Taylor tries to eat the book if I have her on my lap while reading, so this has made it difficult along with my feeling of total exhaustion from not having a good night sleep in oh well over a year now thanks to my pregnancy & my little monkey!

I just thought it was so refreshing to hear that I am not alone in my feelings. That I am not the only one who is exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed at times. That I am not the only one who has guilt about not being able to "do it all". Apparently WE ALL feel that way, we just never say it because we fear we will be judged by who else but other moms. The moms that we presume to have it all together. Guess what!! They don't either. So breathe my mommy friends.. We are all feeling the same thing! We all need 5 whole minutes alone, whether it be locked in a bathroom, faking a headache, making up reasons to do laundry right this second, your husband is home? Now you magically need an item at the store immediately while he watches the baby or whatever your little secret is to get 5 minutes to yourself. WE ALL DO IT!!

Thinking about it now, I believe I inherited the bathroom trait from my mother. She was always locking herself in the bathroom, with a book, without a book, I bet she even had snacks hidden in the potty... LOL. But she did what she needed to to get her 5 whole minutes ( usually it was like an hour) but now I understand her needed " bathroom breaks" & I commend her for taking them!

And the chaos continues.....

So my week last week was hectic yes, but so far this week is in the running for beating out last week.

Friday Taylor was not feeling well after her shots, she had a fever & was out of it, slept all day but would only sleep on my chest. If I even tried to move her she would scream her head off, so the day was spent on the couch with the baby sleeping on my chest. Needless to say I didn't get anything done. Then Miss. Tori was coming over which is always wonderful, but this time she was sleeping over. Tori does not like to sleep away from her house but we are trying to break her of this so we can have her the whole weekend. So the night went smoothly, I let the girls do whatever they wanted & figured they would tire themselves out.. WRONG! Around 2 am after watching Beverly Hills chihuahua. I was like OK time for bed, because of course Pat has already been sleeping for like 4 hours & left it up to me. So they turned the TV off & Lissi immediately fell asleep.. Tori laid there tossing & turning & eventually came in my room around 3 am. I of course let her climb into bed with us, thank goodness for the king size, & she was chatty.. at 3am.. I am NOT chatty anytime after 11. LOL. So eventually after alot of back rubbing & playing with her hair, I got her off to sleep around 3:45. My little Monkey Taylor was up at oh, 7am... I woke Pat up & was like they are all yours till at least 9:30... Yeah right. As soon as Taylor started crying & he couldn't settle her down I of course was up. So Saturday started off cranky.

Saturday we had plans to go to the city for Noreen's birthday ( My daddy's girlfriend) so we had to be up & out by noon. Now of course we are all sleep deprived, everyone except Pat & running around like maniacs trying to get showered and packed. So we manage to get it done & get to Nan's. Once there I of course have to take Nanny's all over to get the food, snacks, & beverages for the party ready.. So I get out of the car to go back in the car. Once the shopping was done, home to Nan's to help her & Aunty set up. Now both the kids have fevers & are in swell moods... Tylenol in both, naps for both. Party started & Noreen really was surprised & a little tipsy too thanks to my Dad getting her drunk before it started - Hilarious!!! It was fun hanging out with everyone. I love being with my family.

Sunday we had the Pancake breakfast at church for Palm Sunday. It was supposed to be mass then the breakfast but the kids were really out of it so I didn't want them to have to sit through mass feeling like crap so we decided to skip mass & just meet everyone for the breakfast. So 11:30 we are at church with Nan, Pop, Dad, Nor, Nick, Aunty, Uncle Jim, Liz, Jesse, Joce, Riley, Aunty Paula & Uncle Ron for the pancake breakfast that didn't have pancakes... LOL. It was nice to do that all together for my Nanny. Aunty made some palm crosses for the kids & then it was back to Nan's to get ready to go. By this point Taylor was miserable & nothing was calming her so I was ready to leave. So Pat gets in the beater & I drove Bertha & we headed home. I was so happy to be home & have the kids resting.

Then this morning it was off to the doctors where I was told Taylor has a viral infection as does Alyssa but Alyssa also has strep. Taylor did not thank goodness. Went & got the scripts filled & now I am waiting to pick up Pat in Middletown where I just was... Ugh I am tired. I need a vacation.

What a week so far!

This week seems to have flown by & I feel like I have had the wind knocked out of me by it! I couldn't tell why I feel this way but I do, I feel like we haven't stopped all week!

Pat was home since last Thurs cause he hurt his back,him being home on a week day always messes up my schedules. My cleaning schedule, my Taylor schedule, my DVR schedule (he likes to hit the stop recording buttons), my nap schedule, ALL MY SCHEDULES. When he is home I have a huge honey do list that I just want him to get done & then I get mad when he does it cause I want to spend time with him. Wow, I really AM a pain in the ass!! Took me to see it in writing to actually know this, better late than never, probably not going to change it though.

So we got the car Monday that was a day of hell driving around the city.. 10 miles takes an hour & a half.. NO JOKE! We didn't get home till 9:30 pm from the city, the we had to get Lissi from Savannah's & she still had to do her homework.. UGH

Tuesday we spent the day of cleaning & organizing our winter chaos in the house & outside the house! I finally got him to take out the damn wood stove pipe from the window, had I known the mess he would make in the foyer doing it, I probably wouldn't have pushed so much about it. Cleaned out the closets, Alyssa's room & closet, scrubbed living room, bedrooms & dining room from top to bottom. Did literally 12 loads of laundry, wash & scrubbed the car inside & out, cleaned up the leaves outside with my new fancy leaf blower.. I thought it was funny that I had to teach Pat how to use it & then we went to Meg & Ant's to help them pack up their apartment for the BIG MOVE to their very own HOUSE!! Woot Woot for Meg & Ant!!

Weds Pat & I pretty much did NOTHING. We were both exhausted from Tues. I think I managed about 2 naps when Pat was not napping, with Taylor we are on rotating nap schedules now, 2 loads of laundry, it never ends people, gave Taylor a bath, watched everything in my DVR, not so exciting, helped Alyssa with her homework, made her spaghetti & butter, got her in the shower, then ate Fillet Mignon with Pat & off to bed we went.

Today he was back to work so I was beautifully woken at 3 am by the damn alarm clock, then up again at 5 with Taylor, got Lissi to school, went to my Mom's job to drop off the family pics of me & siblings with my kiddies, took Taylor to the doctor, 17 lbs 8oz, 26 inches, 3 shots, went to my job & officially resigned today, cleaned out my desk said goodbye to everyone, filled out the forms to ensure that the kids all have health insurance now that mine will no longer be in effect, made the bed, separated the stuff I offered on freecycle.org so the people could pick it up tomorrow, did dishes, called YMCA about camp for Alyssa, filled out camp forms, argued with Danny over camp price, talked to Tori, started Lissi on her homework & it's now 5:43 pm. What the heck should I make for dinner?

Tomorrow Miss. Tori is coming over to sleep over finally!! Then Saturday we have to get Bertha inspected, then down to LI for some family festivities!! I am tired just thinking about it.

I have yet to finish any of my crafty projects.. Thanks to the rain & Pat being home.. LOL.

Meet Big Bertha....

Oh yes, the day has come!! My dear beater is on vacation in Queens, Sally the mustang is on sabbatical in Long Island, but Big Bertha is in WESTBROOKVILLE. Why do we call her Big Bertha you ask? Cause she is a big ol' bitch. We toyed around with Priscilla, but Big Bertha was most appropriate for the new truck....

She is HUGE. I was afraid to even drive her while we were in Queens. I have driven her now though & love love love her! I feel like I am in a tank & the kids are 10 miles behind me, but I don't think I can ever go back to a 4 door sedan. This is just too roomy & too comfortable! She even tells me how many miles exactly I have left till I run out of gas, which is good cause Pat & I loved to take chances with the other car, what direction I am facing which is always interesting, how cold it is outside, mpg for the gas, & more! There are so many buttons I have no idea what half of them do but I will learn. The radio works which is a plus because my past 2 cars it didn't & I was ready to rip my hair out listening to the same Cd's over & over, I can even hook up my ipod!! So I am a happy lady.. I cant wait to drive it back down to the island this weekend!