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I have been questioning where this is a ton over the past few days.

Being around family & friends makes it both easier and harder, since everyone has an opinion. I have to say I am usually on the outside of these situations telling other people my "advice" or what I would do if I was them and now that I am, I was completely wrong in my views.

It's so easy for someone to say leave. Move back. Start over. It's so easy in their minds to pack up your life, kids, & uproot all senses of normalicy while turning everyones world upside down. It's so easy for someone who doesnt love him to say, you have given it your all, come home now.

But the truth is, since being here, that is my HOME, with him, in our house, with our kids. I always called LI home, but after being here for more than just a vacation, I realize that it is no longer my home. Yes it is a place that holds my childhood, teens, Alyssa's early childhood memories, but you can't live your present in memories. There is one very important part of my life that is missing here, my husband. Plus the noise & traffic here are awful... Ha Ha

We have problems, yes, it seems hopeless at times, yes, it becomes overwhelming, yes, but the truth of the matter is I love him. I am not going to give up on us & from talking to him the past 2 days he doesnt want to either. So I go home, we try. The best thing we can do is try. Too many people just give up.

We both needed this time & space, we both needed to step back from the situation & put things into perspective. I believe he has & I know I have.

I am not quite ready to leave here yet, but I know I am not ready to stay here either.