Aggravations

1. Changing Taylor's diaper... I need her to stay still she needs to roll. She gets the urge to roll more so when she has poop then when its just pee. It must hilarious to watch, but it is impossible to do. She is very strong, I think she could take me.

2. Pat & the toothpaste... Every morning without fail! I go into the bathroom, he has the cap on one side of the sink and toothpaste open on the other. Every morning I put the cap back on & put the toothpaste away. I think he does it on purpose, I bet he thinks its funny.

3. Spiders, specifically Daddy Long Legs... I know spiders are supposedly a sign of a clean house, but come one man, my house isn't that clean. I kill about 6 a day sometimes more.... A DAY!
* did you know that Daddy Long Legs carry a poison that can kill a human.. the deadliest to humans but there mouths are too small to bite us* Thank god for that or my whole little family would be gone!

4. Laundry... I think they wait and watch, then wait some more & just when I have the last little piece of laundry done & put away, here they come, almost prancing like they are sooo funny with an armful of dirty... Even though I just asked anyone have any dirty laundry I didn't get? Noooo, but I am learning that Nooo means we have it hidden so we can do the laundry prance... I think Pat & Lissi are in co-hoots.

5. The living room area rug... We have a rug in the living room that wrinkles when you walk over it. I hate that. It pisses me off. I don't know how to make it stop. I have tried everything short of nailing it down.

6. Dishes... You know what a sink is right? In my mind or how I understood it, that is where you put the dirty ones that need to be washed. IN the SINK, not next to it, not near it, not on the counter across from it... IN IT! It must take too much energy to lower the arm into the sink, I don't get it. DIRTY = SINK, maybe my mother had it wrong, I will have to ask her.

7. Alyssa & Scissors... Every time that child has scissors you would think we just yelled Happy New Year & threw confetti, it doesn't matter what she is cutting or where, it can be 5 seconds or 2 hours and I feel like the clean up crew for a ticker tape parade.

8. Socks... I don't know what I do wrong. I use bleach, I use detergent, but I can never get them clean clean. WTF? I have even been so desperate that I researched it online to make sure I am doing it right. For some reason I am being punished by my whites, I want them whiter they like dingy... I am going to have to get that lady from the cheer commerical here.

8. The Night Time Mess Fairy... I don't know who this S.O.B is but when I catch it, mother's everywhere will rejoice & sing my name in praise. I am the last one to go to sleep ALWAYS. I am the last one to see the house, every night. Somewhere between my last waking memory & the time my brain is jolted back to life by Taylor, someone has come into my home & trashed it. I am setting up a video camera.. I will prove this theory to be true, maybe this fairy is friends with the sock stealer and I can get both at once.

9. The Lady Across the STREET... I hate the fact that we even live close enough to people to be able to say that... But this whack job, um I mean woman, has 4 maybe more dogs.. She lets them out whenever Taylor is sleeping, it's like she waits for it. These things bark like mad which then warrants her to scream like a banshee at them telling them to "shut up". This of course always wakes up Taylor. I want to walk over there & open her gate sometimes. I think they are barking for help, they want to get away from her, I might assist them in their plea. The dogs told me to, that will be my insanity plea.

10. Breaking News... If I am watching something I am invested. I want to see it through. It is very rare that I get to sit & enjoy any sort of show lately without having my own "breaking news" to interrupt me from it every 3 seconds. So unless my life is in eminent danger, break it during commercial. I don't care what Michael Jackson offical autopsy report is, bury him, he's dead, get over it.