Yesterday was an off day for me to say the least. I was super emotional, not necessarily sad but a full array of emotions I have no idea why or what brought it on but I was. It started as soon as I opened my eyes till I closed them around 2am this morning.
Maybe it was because Pat & I had an unusual morning.... Him bringing Taylor in the bed at 2:30 because she whimpered for like a second, Taylor being fully awake laughing saying " Hi Dada" while smacking him on his head & Pat loving her with kisses & hugs before we all fell back asleep. I love watching the two of them, it makes my heart melt.
Him waking up late because we had play time till 3am & catching an attitude with me because he couldn't find something. ( I love being woken out of a dead sleep for something I never touched in the first place) & leaving for work pissy without the usual I love you.
Watching Taylor & Lissi all day thinking how fast they are both growing & I want them to stay the way they are. Watching them play & seeing how much they adore one another.
Talking with my Nanny & getting excited to see her this weekend. Worrying about our new editions up at the farm, if the baby ducks were warm enough, clean, had water, if Bruttus was trying to eat the baby goats. Then seeing my Mommy yesterday for the first time in a few weeks.
Pat coming right home & just about to settle into our evening routine of how was your day, talking about the kids, animals, what to have for dinner when we received unexpected company.
I really cherish our evenings. I love knowing he will be home soon & we will all sit down as a family, eat & talk. That is my favorite part of the day.
We were out the door with the company to their house. This put Pat & I off our routine which caused us to have a little tiff in the car. ( A little tiff usually ends up as WW III, tonight was no exception) Things were said that really hurt my feelings so we didn't talk much the rest of the night.
Then at one point I was walking towards where he was, it was dark out at this point, I tripped over something & smashed my leg, he immediately ran out to see if I was OK, hugged me, kissed my head & helped me hobble back to the house. This was the first contact with one another since the car ride.
Once home we put the baby to bed, Lissi opted for a sleep over there, we talked for a little then went to bed. Normally he is sleeping by the time I go, but tonight I was tired too. So I went at the same time. Once we are laying down he grabs me so I would lay my head on his chest & we talked for a little, he apologized for the war in the car, we talked about the kids, how I am going to be "an old goat" this weekend, then he kissed my head & fell asleep. I laid there on his chest for a good 20 minutes & then all of a sudden I started to cry, not out of sadness but because I was so happy....
I cried because I was exactly where I wanted to be. I cried because sometimes I am overwhelmed by him & the family we created. I cried because I know he loves me regardless. I cried for so many reasons but I just was so overcome with emotion at that moment that the only way to release it was to cry.
He slept through the whole thing..... but he never let me go. Yesterday was an off day, but a good kind of off!
No comments:
Post a Comment