The new year is upon us....

Usually around this time of year I am awaiting the new year with hopefulness & anticipation... Making all sorts of promises to myself about how I am going to change what I don't like about myself this year, blah blah blah.... Promises which I never keep & just feel like crap about because I didn't.



Today was thinking about 2008 & what my resolution would be... Then as I pondered what I would have done or changed about me this year when I realized I had the best year.



I married my husband a man who I believe is the only one who gets me & I believe I am the only one who gets him & can still laugh at each other even when we are fighting, set up home for our family, became closer with Alyssa than ever before & welcomed my precious little Taylor in our lives. I even gained a beautiful step daughter & wonderful family full of my new in laws.



For the first time I was able to be on my own with out any help from my family... help with Alyssa, help with the day to day which was something I thought I could never do.



I became a better mother this year something I am so proud of myself for.

I became a wife & learned to love someone unconditionally rather than on my terms.

I made a beautiful home for my children & husband rather than some apartment I planned on leaving in a few months.

I learned to love a child like my own without her being mine.

I learned the more family you have whether it be yours or you inherit them makes your life doubly blessed.

I learned that I have strength that I never thought I did. I learned that I can adapt to my surroundings if needed.

I have formed a strong relationship with my mother again that was very much needed & one with my father as well.

I have learned what is really important in life & not what i thought was important through having to portray an image.

I lost weight without trying & am skinnier than I have been in years... LOL.

I think 2008 was a great year for me, in love, growth, responsibility, humility, just figuring out a little more of what makes me tick...

So my resolution for 2009 is to look at the big picture rather than sweat the small stuff... I think once you can do that everything else will fall into place.

As my Nanny always says to me when I feel its hopeless... God will never give you more than you can handle... & I always like to add, but he sure likes to test my limits....

Happy New Year to everyone!!

Random things... I just feel like writing.

So yesterday my girlfriend Rachelle from Long Island came up to visit me for the afternoon. I was so excited because I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. Between me moving up here & her moving to CA for a little, it made hanging out, well, impossible.

We used to work together at Nardy Honda, she was part of my sanity at that place. She is still there & I wish I was too, but anyways.

So she gets here & I see her attempt to pull up our driveway which is like a steep incline covered in ice. She is not getting up & from the window I see the panic & the turn of the wheel which could end the life of her brand new Honda accord. So I run outside & I was planning on going down the drive to pull it up for her, but within 3 steps I begin to slide & immediately throw myself down because this gave me skiing flashbacks & I HATED skiing. So I am trying to gesture her on how to turn the wheel & then I scream to her to back out onto the road again & gun it. That's the only way... So after 10 minutes she gets up my drive & I get to see the face of my smiling friend who I missed sooo much.

We hang out & BS & catch each other up on all the gossip of who is doing who, who is a druggie now, who died, & so on & so forth... we had A LOT to say.

Then it came time for her to leave... She is panicking because she does not want to drive down the drive which is even icier now. Luckily Pat was home by now he offered to do it for her.

Now she didn't want to be in the car when he was pulling it down which I still don't understand why but glad she didn't. He gets the car down fine to the bottom of the drive.

I look at her & think how the hell are you going to get down.. You have Uggs on which are sooo slippery, it is a sheet of ice & the drive is straight down. My genius friend says get a garbage bag. I knew this would be good. So she takes a few steps down .. Pat is right behind her... I am on the porch with my camera cause I knew I would need it. She is slipping all over the place.... so then Pat gets her to sit on the bag & she is yelling don't push me, don't push me & Pat is saying I wont, I ... Then he shoves her...

Picture your friend sitting on a garbage bag sliding down your driveway screaming I am going to die, I am going to die & she was going fast too I was worried she was going to end up underneath the car parked at the end of the driveway. But right before the car the garbage bag came out from underneath her ass & she carefully scooted the rest of the way........ I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.

She made it to the car alive & safe but it was so freaking funny. That alone was worth not seeing her for 2 years.. it made up for all the laughs we missed.

The shopping continues....

So this morning, I ran out to Kmart to see if I could get a little shopping done for the girls before the SNOW came. Once again around 8 ish I was piling Lissi & Taylor into the blue demon & heading off.

Got to the Kmart because there is NO WAY I was going to Walmart, got Tori most of the things on her list, she has expensive taste, so I couldnt afford to buy everything & pay rent this month, but got her a nice batch of things she wanted.

Couldnt get anything done for Alyssa because she was with me.

We bought Taylor that new Elmo thing that is out because everytime me & Lissi would hold it up in front of her & make him talk & dance, her eyes would light up & she would smile... That was enough for me to have to buy it & after seeing the price that is enough gifts for her too!! (she wont even remember this christmas) Ok so I bought her a few other things prior to this but that is it I swear.

Picked up a shovel & some rock salt like my husband asked me to at 3 am this morning as he was walking out the door....

By the time we got out it was snowing pretty good & we got home just in time cause within half an hour of being in the house it was already a few inches on the ground.

Update on Taylor's Ears...

So we went for our second round of ear tests. This one was more "involved" than the other. This time I was allowed in the room.

If this one was "involved" I would hate to see how UN- involved the other one was.

It was seriously 2 seconds long one plug thingy in each ear, a ear checker scope thing to look in the ears, another tubey thing in her ears...... and we were told .......Left ear 100% of her hearing. Right ear she has a little but only 6%. But at least she has a little. The lady that did the test told me that was a good thing & it is something that more than likely can be corrected with either surgery or tubes when she is a little older. She wouldn't specify more or go into further details because she is not an ENT doctor, she just performs the test. She did mention it could possible effect her speech when she begins talking, but that doesn't always happen.

So I was shuffled out to the receptionist, given a # for an ear, nose & throat doctor to discuss further steps, asked for my pediatricians # so they can fax over the results & I was off.

I felt a little bewildered upon leaving, with more questions than when I went in. To these people it is just a normal thing to me it is my child....

But I am not taking her to the ENT they recommended. My uncle is an audiologist & I am going to take her to him for both a second opinion & because I trust him more & know he will do everything he can for her & he will recommend the best doctors he knows & trusts.

I will keep everyone updated after our next appointment in January.

Ahhh the holidays are almost here....

So after my not to pleasing experience grocery shopping, I decided I was going to try & do as little store shopping as possible, especially without Pat.

So last night I was meddling around online... & before I knew it I had figured out what I wanted to get everyone & where I was getting it from. Now I didn't purchase anything right away because I know I am an impulse shopper so I slept on it. Well until at least 4am when I woke up, started making lists of who & what & how much & decided that what I had come up with the night before was perfect. But I still didn't buy anything.

I know I said in a prior post that I was going green, but one I don't have the green to "go green" & two I don't have the time or patience.. so maybe next year.

So there were a few who are just impossible to buy for.. so I knew what stores they frequented & decided gift cards. This was perfect because you can buy almost every kind of gift card at shop rite now & I had to go there anyways to get stuff to make cupcakes & brownies for Alyssa for school.

Then I was looking at the toys on walmart for the little ones, & decided I would head there because their shipping costs are nuts & figured if I went early enough it shouldn't be that bad. I only picked walmart because I have made it through 9 years of my daughters life without EVER stepping foot inside a toys r us & I don't plan to break my record now that & its right near shop rite & I don't have to venture to UGH Middletown. So I found what I think to be the perfect gifts for all the kiddies.

So its 7:30am & I am antsy, I have a plan & a course to follow this morning & I want to get it done... But Alyssa doesn't go to school till 8:15... Yes but that is when the bus comes... School itself doesn't start till 9 & if I was to leave now. I have been up planning this for 3 hours already.

OK get the kids dressed, tell Lissi I am driving her to school but we have to run to the store first so she maybe a little late. Get Taylor & her stuff ready, wash my face, brush my teeth & hair & we are out the door. 7:45.....

Into shop rite directly to the gift cards... Scott, Mom & Joe, Dad & Noreen -check check check
A visa gift card in case I cant get to the bank to transfer monies & I need to buy something else online (its a sickness people) food coloring for the icing, holiday cupcake cup thingies, brownie mix, vanilla cake mix & we are out. The baking isle was conveniently located at the foot of the gift cards... Express lane, no line... NICE!! 8:30....

Over to the dollar store... Wasn't on the plan but I always have to go there. Tissue paper, boxes, labels, tape, toy for Lissi for dealing with her crazy mother, 8:45... she can be 15 minutes late.

Had to get gas cause Alyssa freaks out if it is anywhere near the E, so $10 & almost a full tank, got to love the beater for that.... Onto Walmart

In walmart, 3rd spot from the door.... Sweet, cart in front of the car, wonderful, b-line to the toys... This is going awesome & then ... They have NOTHING on my list... CRAP. They have what I want for Mia & Sophia but it is like $15 more in the store. Now I am not cheap but if I can get it cheaper I will... So no toys... OK furry clog things for Aunty... Got them, Slide on shoe things for Pop that he is always asking for but I can never find in plain colors. (think he is too old too pull off the cool skull ones).... they have them... & in his size.. beautiful.... sweater for Nan who states she is putting on weight & needs new clothes... Sweaters are on sale... fantastic... Gift card for uncle Jim to buy his Cd's... express register with no line, walmart gift card for me in the amount of the remainder of the gifts I do have to buy online for the kiddies so once again I am not using the bank account.... 9:20

Off to Dollar General in Port for the pajamas my mom wanted when I was in there with her.... Pull in get cart, find size, pay & back in the car... 9:40...

Drop Lissi off at school... Apologize to Taylor for all the in & out... Sit in car & check my list... Everyone is done that I need to go out for. To the house to do our online shopping....

Home about 10:15 after getting milk & mail... Taylor is sleeping, & I am online... Kev,Em, Meg, Ant, Kris, Dan, John, Nick, Liz, Krissy, Mia, Sophia, Jocelyn, Riley, Jesse, & Little Kev.... done done done done done done done done done done done done done done....Only people left to get are my mother & father in law... 1 of which I know what to get but Pat has to pick it out & the other... no clue yet but I am thinking of stuff...

So in the matter of 2 hours I bought gifts for 24 people & I wasn't stressed out even once... The best Christmas shopping EVER!!

That is until Pat & I go to shop for Lissi & Tori & Taylor this weekend... but at least we have each other to calm the other down or hype the other one up.. Either way I wont be alone.

Come to think of it we need a tree too... Oh well I guess saturday after santa & cookies at Emily's!!

Since when are manners optional??

Yesterday Taylor & I headed out early to get some much needed food shopping done. We started our journey in the beater (my temp car till we get the truck) praying the whole way to Matamoras that we did not over heat. I had a plan in place so that I could get all my shopping done & allow the car some breaks to "cool down". First we got to shop rite as fast as we could racing the temp gauge in the car before it got too close to the H. Got a great spot which was lovely seeing as how it was rainy & miserable out yesterday, took the baby out of the car & proceeded to walk toward the covered carts since the ones on the lot were wet.

Optional Manner Scenario # 1: I see someone who is finished with their cart & is starting to walk it back to return it & ask if I can have it because it is dry, therefore saving them the trip to return it. This woman just looks at me, after I used my please & thank yous & shot her a smile of appreciation along with an "enjoy your holiday" comment, I received no return smile, no sure, no your welcome or same to you... Nothing but a look & a shove of her cart in my direction.

Rude....

Optional Manner Scenario # 2: In shop rite, older woman struggling to get a box off the shelf, I stop what I am doing, being a grandmas girl with a soft spot for the elderly, & ask her which box she is trying to get, then I get the box for her. Again I smiled at this woman, & received nothing but her back as she put the box in her cart & walked away.

Now I am starting to mentally count how many rude people I encounter today.

Optional Manner Scenario 3 - 10 maybe: Still in shop rite, every time I was in someones way I would apologize & smile, receiving nothing in return... Checkout girl... Miserable & I even bagged everything myself, because I don't want them using plastic bags... Not even a thank you for bagging.

Now I am annoyed. On to dollar tree....

Optional Manners take 11 -12: Now it is not hard to see I have a baby in tow, the damn infant seat is almost as big as the little cart it is on in the dollar tree as well as as wide as the isles. So I would try to move over to the sides to let people pass when I was looking at something, apologizing & again smiling, again receiving nothing but looks..... A simple your fine or that's OK would have been sufficient..

Losing all faith in society....Walmart.. do I even dare??

Optional Manners 13 -infinity: Mad house is not the word for this store... but the only one that comes to mind. This trip was a 2 tripper for me, yes one cart full - paid & bagged, out to the car to unload, & back in again... I had people bang into my cart with the baby on it, one person rammed me in the leg with there cart, looked at me & said nothing, employees who were no help & seemed annoyed that I asked them a question, a number of I'm sorrys when I was in someones way or so I felt I was, again with a little smile, & again I got not so much as a your fine or smile back......... again using my p & q's the whole time & smiling... with NOTHING & too many other countless experiences with the public

Where is the holiday cheer? God I was just happy to be out of the house... but these people were down right MISERABLE. Even the lady at the self checkout was like Hitler....

If this is how shopping is going to be for the rest of the holiday season I better just do it online, at least they say thank you when you are done...